If you are reading this right now then I know how you feel. Right now you are hurting. You feel lost and confused. You don't know what to do. I have good new for you: You came to the right place!
I was recently in your shoes and made all of the classic mistakes that you a. have made b. will make c. feel you should make.
Let me tell you right now, no matter how you think you should act, do the opposite. If you want your ex back, if you want her/him to feel that same passion for you that they use to then you must resist the temptation to react to your feelings. PLEASE! This is very important and I will explain why a little later.
As much as it sucks to hear, the first step in getting your ex back IS no contact what so ever. You have to completely remove yourself from the situation. Give yourself some time to regroup emotionally. Think of it as an emotional vacation because that is exactly what it is.
I will update this blog daily with tips so you can check back everyday for the next step. This first one IS THE SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT ONE! You have got to cut all forms of contact. No seeing them, calling them, texting them, e-mailing them. No contact means NO contact. There are NO EXCEPTIONS!
I am going to tell you right now what NOT TO DO:
Do not give the ex reassurance that you've changed and things will be different
Do not tell them you love them over and over again.
Don't let them see you sad and depressed. This WILL NOT make them change their mind. If anything, it will make them happier about what they decided.
Don't try to bargain and reason with them.
Don't use any kind of manipulation tactics, i.e, kids, money, etc...
This is how you handle the break up....Say "I understand how you feel. I love you and will respect your wishes. You're probably right...it's probably for the best". And with that go into STRICT no contact mode. Again, NO EXCEPTIONS!
Until tomorrow, Be strong!
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Dating Information
Dating Information: "How to Program Your Man by: Caterina Christakos Wouldn't it be wonderful if you could program your man as easily as purchasing your next flick on pay per view? Well it isn't as absurd as it sounds. Every day we program each other subconsciously. There are reasons why we like certain people and dislike others. Many time this has nothing to do with logic and everything to do with anchors. Anchors create automatic responses. For example, many people smell chocolate chip cookies or warm apple pie and think of warm happy afternoons spent in their mother's kitchen. Just the scent creates good feelings. Another example on the flip side may be the sound of sirens. Many of us get nervous at just hearing them in the vicinity when we are driving, and begin nervously looking for police officers ready to bust us for speeding. "
Dating Information
Dating Information: "Online Dating for Dummies by: H M Hovis Whether you have been dating for years, getting back in the game, or just starting out, you could always use a bit of dating advice. Not the kind you get from your mother, but rather the kind that actually might get you past the first date, on to the 2nd and perhaps on to a happily ever after. So you have decided to date and you are thinking about the 'online dating' thing? Well, why not. To be cliche' everyone is doing it! In today's action packed, hustle, bustle world, who had time or energy to meet the traditional ways. Online meeting has become a norm, and is gaining in acceptability. Writing Your Profile Many online dating services offer assistance in writing your profile, if you are not a good writer then this may be something you should consider. Before you sit down to write your profile, find out how others see you, so that you can more adequately describe yourself as you are seen. (You don't see yourself as others do - probably) The best way to do this is ask around. You don't have to tell anyone why - just ask for one word that describes your looks, work habits, home environment etc get a list and go from there. Chances are you will come closer to a good description of yourself that way than any other way. "
Dating Information
Dating Information: "A guide to dating by: Jeff Lakie People in long-term relationships, whether they are married or dating, often complain about getting into a rut. Your relationship may have started off with the great burst of passion and excitement but perhaps it began to wane because life is busy and work can where you out by the end of the day. If you're in a dating relationship that seems to be in a rut, or wonder why you can't keep a long term relationship exciting anymore, perhaps you need to go back to the beginning. That doesn't mean you need to break up with your current partner and find someone new, it means you need to refresh the relationship with exciting and spontaneous activities. When you look back on a period of your life, what is it that you remember? Is it the average day-in, day-out activities? Not likely. It is more likely those fun and spur-of-the-moment times when you did things that were hilarious or scary or new. That's what it means to go back to the beginning of a relationship, when everything you do is spontaneous and new. Next time you and your girlfriend or boyfriend are deciding to do something on Friday, don't settle for dinner-and-a-movie. Do something different! Here are some ideas: Play paintball Rent a classic car Go skydiving Have a picnic Or surprise your date with something spontaneous: Start a water fight Go for a romantic boat ride and tip the boat Blindfold your date and take them somewhere they never been Surprise your date at work just as they're finishing up for the day "
Dating Information
Dating Information: "Online Dating Made Easy and Safe by: Jeff Lakie As technology becomes more ingrained in our everyday lives, more people are turning to the Internet for social purposes. And over the past few years, this has become a more accepted form of communication. Friendships are formed and relationships made online. But just how much trouble is it to join the online dating sites? And is it safe? A few years ago, there was significant attention placed on those who turned to online dating. Consumers were warned that the sites were unsafe, used by predators who were looking for victims. But increased attention to security and awareness on the part of those using the services has made an incredible difference. Many of the dating sites are now offering members ways to talk anonymously at first, then allowed to meet via web cam in private chat rooms. With the web cam options, it's more difficult to hide things like age. Some sites also screen members personally. While the sites make no claims that they've gone so far as to perform background checks, they do often verify addresses and other information. Again, this isn't a full-fledged safety net, just one more precaution toward making online dating safer. "
Dating Information
Dating Information: "Dating Advice: Love Shouldn't Hurt by: Terry Hernon MacDonald 'Because when pain has been intertwined with love and closeness, it's very difficult to believe that love and closeness can be experienced without pain.' -Gloria Steinem, 'Revolution from Within.' If you tend to attract men who disappoint you (by cheating on you, not showing up when they say they will, or just refusing to get off the couch), you may be confusing love with pain. So many of us have been brought up to believe that pain is normal, even expected, in a love relationship. Without it, the relationship seems flat, boring. We crave drama. (Why is it that so many women have great sex after a fight with a significant other?) "
Love Information
Love Information: "Do You Give Away Your Power? by: William Martin ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Do You Give Away Your Power? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ When you love someone do you give your power away? This may seem a strange question to ask and you may wonder what 'power' has to do with 'love'. However, if we take a look we might see that love and power are very closely linked. This may not seem very romantic, but that does not mean it is not true. We see another person as attractive depending on the level of 'personal power' that they hold. Things like good looks, money, success (however we define it), musical and artistic abilities, and the like all, can add to attractiveness - and 'attractiveness' is a form of personal power. When we love someone it is natural to want to give to him or her. It is part of the fun of a relationship. Yet, if we try to give too much of ourselves before the other person is ready the chances are that they will run a mile... Has anyone not experienced that kind of 'rejection'? I don't see any hands going up...It seems to be part of the human experience for everyone no matter what their status in life."
Relationship Information
Relationship Information: "Opposites Do Attract by: Jan Michaels I've come to the conclusion (and it's only taken me 50 years) that Opposites DO Attract! My Girlfriend for example ... we have two very different sleeping environments. I like the window open while I sleep and, at some point in the night, a sheet as a blanket. Give me a fan at the window blowing fresh cool (my girlfriend said to add 'cold') air gently swirling (she says 'Windtunnel') over me as I sleep. She tho, likes the window Closed, the heater On full blast and 6 comforters piled on her ... One good thing about this is that I don't mind if she steals all the blankets! Go ahead .. take 'em all."
Relationship Information
Relationship Information: "Attention Men: What Never To Say To A Woman by: Jessica Kihara Guys, we ladies know that you can be pretty clueless. Have you ever said something 'innocent' that got your woman really mad? There are just some things a woman does not want to hear. If you want to keep peace in your relationship, take my advice and don't ever say this to your girlfriend/wife: Mistake #1: 'Your best friend is hot.' She'll end up feeling threatened that you're attracted to someone so close to her. It cause tension anytime the three of you get together. If you think her friend, sister, cousin, etc. is a knock-out - just keep it to yourself. Mistake #2: 'Maybe You should go on a diet.' Women are insecure enough about their bodies as it is. Seeing models and actresses on TV and in magazines makes many women feel like they're not good enough. You should never let her know that you notice her flaws, because she's probably already obsessing over them."
Relationship Information
Relationship Information: "It is an undeniable fact that a man is powerless to the charms of a beautiful woman. All men, however, have a different definition of beauty. Regardless of how a man defines what he finds attractive in a woman, there are several common male turn ons that all men would agree to. The following is a list of the top ten male turn ons: 1. Women who leave something to the imagination As unbelievable as it sounds, men often prefer to be teased with a little taste of what is to come. This would include a woman who dresses to show a little skin, but not too much. For example, a female who offers the slight glimpse of a thong or a bra strap is often more seductive than one who is scantily clad. Women who maintain a certain degree of class are always more attractive to men than women who openly share all their secrets! "
Relationship Information
Relationship Information: "Flirting is an artform that should be practiced. If you are not seeing someone right now then I suggest that you flirt with as many men as possible. Don't do it with the hope of picking one up, although that may be a pleasant side affect. Thinkof it as practice until you meet the one that curls your toes and makes your heart flutter. What does flirting entail? Smile at the mail man. Make small talk with your waiter. Use your eyes to signal attraction to the men sitting at nearby tables. Keep it light and fun."
Relationship Information
Relationship Information: "Soul Mates - Do they really exist? – By Joseph Ghabi by: Joseph Ghabi Throughout centuries, story tellers, and people from different background and cultures always refer to their fascination in meeting one day their soul mates. Is Soul Mate a myth? Do they really exist? Or is Soul Mate a figment of our own imagination that can help keep our hope for a perfect relationship and keep our hope alive. Or is it an escape way for not handling or not looking at ourselves in such a way that we keep delaying our responsibilities and things can be fixed when we meet that perfect relationship with those Soul Mates. Everything is possible! It is up to you and me to decide the bottom line of this puzzle. If we talk in such metaphysics tone of words used, we will say we are all coming from the same source, one soul, branched out into different ventures or experiences to achieve and in reality we are all Soul Mate. Maybe that’s true but I believe there is more into it than that!!"
Relationship Information
Relationship Information: "Are You Codependent? by: Royane Real One of the greatest benefits of having close friendships is that our friends can support and help us when things get rough in our lives. In exchange for the support our friends give us during a crisis, most of us also help our friends when they need it. In a relationship between two emotionally healthy adults, the roles of giving and receiving help are balanced. Both people offer help and receive help from each other in approximately equal amounts. However, there are some people who always take on the role of being the helper, no matter what relationship they are in. These people have friendships that focus exclusively on trying to solve the problems of their friends. We sometimes call this quality “co-dependency”, and we may label people who are obsessed with helping others “co-dependent”."
Relationship Information
Relationship Information: "Top 10 Ideas To Revive a Fizzling Relationship by: Micheline Micheline Top 10 Ideas To Revive a Fizzling Relationship ?Copyright 2005 Micheline Love is exciting, and when a relationship is new, almost everything you do together is fresh and alive, and keeps you enthralled. Then time begins to pass, and while the love is still there, the relationship may have lost some of its sparkle, whether it's because you now have a family or not. Here are some of the top 10 ideas to revive a fizzling relationship that might just put some of the bubble back into the champagne of your life."
Relationship Information
Relationship Information: "Sexual Attraction - Addiction or Intimacy? by: Margaret Paul Sexual Attraction - Addiction or Intimacy? By Margaret Paul, Ph.D. Megan asked the following questions in one of our phone sessions: 'Over and over, when I'm really attracted to a man and I sleep with him fairly early in the relationship, I discover that he is not good husband material. What am I doing wrong? Am I just attracted to the wrong kind of men?' This is a frequent question from my single women clients. 'Megan, many men know how to project sexual energy in a way that arouses women. These men define their worth by their sexuality and by their ability to attract woman. They know just how to sexually ignite a woman - it's an energy that they are putting out that goes right into your genitals and makes you think that something real and important is happening. But they are operating from a sexual addiction rather than from caring or intimacy.'"
Relationship Information
Relationship Information: "- by Kathy Thompson writing4u@faceuptoit-youcan.com (c) Kathy Thompson - All Rights Reserved www.faceuptoit-youcan.com '5 Tips For Successful Relationships!' 'Love conquers all, right?' Well----it's suppose to. But most marriages will end in divorce. Most of their problems are about the children, money, or in-laws. When couples commit to a long relationship, there are specific personality traits they should have in common. 1. Similiar physical texture (thick skinned/thin skinned) 2. Similiar emotional stability 3. Similiar degree of tolerance 4. Similiar intelligence/understanding of situations 5. Similar Interests"
Relationship Information
Relationship Information: "Long Distance Relationships - How to Make it Work by: Rachelle Arlin Credo Long distance relationships are dreadful. I know this because I'm currently living one. You watch other couples walk down the street hand-in-hand, kissing, etc., everyday and you can't do anything but envy them. So how can a long distance relationship work? How can you keep on loving someone if you can't even see them? The answer is...it depends on how much you want it to work. True love can overcome any odds thrown in its path if you want it bad enough. So the question is, how do you do it? Well, I do not think that anyone knows exactly how to make it work, but I can certainly provide some points on making it work."
Relationship Information
Relationship Information: "Most think that relationships exist to make them happy. When they find that special person, they believe that love will naturally grow. But in relationships we encounter everything, challenges, joy, fulfillment, loss. Yet, despite all training in life, we seldom learn about the knitty gritty of relationships, how to build the relationship in a way that brings out the best in all. To start this process, there are 7 simple laws we can learn and use. These laws will act as guideposts, helping us to choose wisely and to avoid costly mistakes."
Relationship Information
Relationship Information: "When people seek relationship advice from a trusted friend or family member, it is most likely a waste of time, says relationship author Justin Luyt. 'We ask for relationship advice often when we feel we do not have the answers to our relationship challenges,' Luyt says. 'We grasp for external wisdom, with the false belief that we do not know the answers, but if we are being authentic to ourselves, we have those answers.' Luyt recently published The Spirit of Romance, a book that offers readers practical relationship advice and uses interactive planning tools to not just change thoughts, but feelings and behavior, too. Using the term 'Spirit', Luyt defines the inner source people must acknowledge before looking honestly inside themselves instead of seeking relationship advice from others."
Relationship Information
Relationship Information: "'Relationships-- the Secret to Your Professional and Personal Success' by: John Neyman Jr “Relationships-- the Secret to Your Professional and Personal Success” Copyright 2005 John Neyman Jr The Hungry In May of 2005 there were over 2 million searches made on the internet in reference to relationships. Over 49,000 searches have taken place on the net in one month for relationship advice. Almost 4000 of them were searching for help with a healthy relationship. Over 38,000 were looking for a relationship on line because they were not getting it in their realm of life. This is all in one month. I could go on with the list. The point is when over 2 million people search in one month's time for relationships we know that most people are not finding the fulfillment in their present relationships"
Relationship Information
Relationship Information: "In my private practice for over 14 years no matter what my clients have come to see me about, there has always been an issue about a better relationship. Here are 7 of the most common misconceptions my clients have related to me about having a better relationship. These misconceptions are followed by my perspective on each one of them. Myth 1 I have to love everything about my partner Reality Check 1 You were born pure and pristine. You then learnt behaviors from your parents, teacher, coaches, church etc. (who did their best to teach you about a better relationship). These behaviors have become the backbone for your way of living and having a better relationship."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)